Period Struggles
by ManaketeSmoocher
Summary: [Modern AU] Having your period is bad enough on its own. Now layer that with the fact that you are in fact a trans male. Well, at least Leon managed to land himself with the best boyfriend on the planet. [trans!Leon] [MU] [attempted suicide mention] I barely know anything about hormones, so PM me or review if I messed something up! [T for suicide mention? i'm paranoid]


**A/N - This is a oneshot in my modern AU for Fates (though all I've written so far focuses mostly on Leon and my MU). If you would like more context to some things that are mentioned, or just want to read more dumb stuff with these two, please check out my profile!**

 **Soapy uses all pronouns, though when I narrate I use they/them, and when Leon is talking to or about them he uses he/him pronouns. Different characters use different pronouns for them so it's a mixed bag, really!**

 **Anyways, without further ado, here's the fic, and please check out my ending A/N when you finish!**

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Soapy and Leon's relationship only got better after Soapy discovered their boyfriend was trans. The two of them were able to spend more time together than before, due to the younger not feeling as great a need to bind his breasts down around his boyfriend. He still tended to bind when they were together, for the sake of his own comfort, but without the paranoia of being found out, he could take it off when needed. It was, of course, a bit strange, getting used to the freeness of it all, but Leon was definitely happy with the result. The removal of that barrier also meant he could actually talk to Soapy about his problems, and Soapy would be able to properly comfort him when he was down; something that had been impossible for them to do without knowing their boyfriend was trans. They still forgot that Leon was trans sometimes, though when they did remember soon after and apologize profusely, almost to the point of it being irritating. Leon did appreciate how much they cared, though. It made him cry on occasion, though he would probably never tell them that.

"What do you want." Leon answered the phone rather flatly one summer day before his junior year. He hadn't bothered to check the caller ID, and was in a rather bad mood. There was a moment of silence.

"Shit, sorry, is this a bad time?" It was Soapy, and they sounded startled by his tone. Leon groaned.

"No. Sorry, I'm just…" He sighed.

"Umm, do you wanna talk about it? I was just calling because I missed you a little and wanted to see if we could hang out or something, maybe go out and see a movie or eat somewhere. It's fine if you don't want to!" There was a minor sound in the background. "Oh, hold on, I'm cooking something."

"Soapy, why in the world are you cooking. Please don't do that, I don't want you to hurt yourself." Leon yawned, not moving from his position on his bed. He was laying on his back, with his laptop on his stomach and Rose nestled against him.

"No, it's fine, I'm not- shit- give me a sec." The phone was placed on a counter and put on speaker. "I'm fine, I'm baking." Leon huffed slightly.

"I can't trust you near a kitchen unless you're baking sugar cookies." Soapy once managed to set off the fire alarm while trying to warm up a bowl of soup. Somehow, the only thing they could cook reliably were sugar cookies.

"Well then, I guess you don't have to worry about that." Soapy giggled slightly, and Leon briefly thought it was a cute laugh. "Is anything wrong though? You didn't sound too happy when you answered my call." Leon waited a bit before answering, momentarily distracting himself with his computer.

"Nothing, I'm just bleeding internally. A little bit." He winced. "It's annoying and I hate having cramps." Soapy gasped.

"Wait, what? Shouldn't you be getting to a hospital?" They sounded extremely concerned, and it took Leon a moment to figure out why.

"Soapy, I'm on my period. My uterus is trying to kill itself." Soapy was silent for nearly a whole minute.

"Oh. Shit, I'm sorry, I keep forgetting that's even a thing you can have. Ahh, gods, I feel like such an idiot, I'm so sorry." Leon sighed.

"You're fine. Ah- ow, shit, give me a moment." Leon pulled the phone away from his ear and grit his teeth together as he waited for the sudden influx in pain from his nether regions to pass.

"Are you okay?"

"No, I'm dying." Rose meowed at him quietly, and he scratched her behind the ears. "It's only been a day and I've barely left my bed."

"That sounds terrible… I guess that's a no on the date, then?"

"Sorry. I can't be bothered to get up right now, honestly." Though, he would probably have to in an hour or so. To cleanse himself.

"I could go over to your place." They suggested. "We could watch Netflix and eat ice cream or soup or something. I'll bring my cookies!" Leon was appalled that Soapy had mentioned soup of all things. It was the middle of summer! Not that he hadn't eaten soup during the summer before, considering how cold his father always kept the house.

"... Oh gods, what did I do to deserve a boyfriend like you?" He covered his face with his free arm. "I'm such a piece of shit, why did they bless me with you?" Soapy shushed him.

"You're not a piece of shit. Do I have to make a list about everything that's amazing about you?" Leon's voice was quiet, muffled by his sleeve when he responded.

"That would be nice…" He blushed. "Please don't." Soapy giggled, and Leon thought he heard a ding on their end.

"Why not? Think you'll start crying?" It was light and teasing. "Not that there's anything wrong with crying. I think crying is a good way to release a bunch of tension."

"I'm not going to cry. Maybe I just think it's a dumb thing to do." Leon knew Soapy was probably going to make that list anyways.

"Of course." There was an influx of sound on Soapy's end, and Leon noticed that he probably wasn't on speaker anymore when Soapy resumed speaking. "Sorry I forgot to take you off speaker earlier. I think Foamy might have heard some of that." Just what he needed; his boyfriend's sister hearing him talk about things he wouldn't want anyone but Soapy to hear.

"So, when are you coming over?"

"Well, I don't really have a license or anything yet so I'll have to walk. Maybe an hour or something? Oh, but I'd also have to stop somewhere to buy ice cream… Or I could stop by my work and get soup. Which one do you want? I can get both."

"Just ice cream." Soapy made a sound of confirmation. "Why are you so good?"

"I dunno if I'm good, I just like doing stuff for people I care about."

"That's what makes you good." Leon rubbed one of his eyes. "I, umm…"

"I love you." Soapy voiced the exact words he was hesitant to form, and Leon could practically hear the smile in their words.

"... You too."

"One thing really quick, are you wearing your binder right now? I feel like that'd be a pain to wear." Leon disregarded the fact that it was always a pain a wear and assumed they meant more of a pain than usual.

"I'm not wearing it. Not much point if I'm not planning on leaving the house."

"Well… don't put it on. I want you to relax and stuff. I'll be at your place as soon as I can, okay?"

Leon made a sound of confirmation before being somewhat embarrassed by the kissing sound Soapy made over the phone. He decided to move his laptop off of his stomach before sitting up, giving Rose one last head scratch before slowly getting up, putting his hand on his head. After making sure he could balance properly, he went to wash his face, feeling startled by how terrible he looked. He always sort of looked terrible during the summer, but he felt he looked worse than usual. Checking the time, he realized Soapy probably wouldn't be there for a while, so he decided to take a shower. Taking care to focus on showering and nothing else, he was out within fifteen minutes, feeling satisfied that he refrained from scratching his skin so much it turned raw and red. That was a bad habit of his that he'd formed ever since he began puberty and his dysphoria skyrocketed. It was a form of self-harm that he'd been trying to stop for a few years, but it wasn't exactly easy to do so.

He went downstairs, feeling lethargic as he walked to the kitchen. Elise wasn't around, so he supposed she was at Sakura or Effie's house. His father was in the living room, watching some tv series that Leon couldn't be bothered to remember the name of. Leon got a can of lemon-lime soda from the refrigerator before grabbing a bag of chips and trying to ignore the fact that he was consuming nothing but junk. He walked to the living room, opening his drink as he sat next to his father. Garon glanced at him before returning his gaze to the television. Leon felt the need to say something.

"Soapy is coming over." His father looked at him again, this time eyeing the way he was dressed.

"Be safe." Leon was, in fact, wearing nothing but a large shirt and somewhat short shorts. He blushed, not having been expecting to hear that sort of comment from his father of all people.

"We're not going to do anything!" He was almost surprised that he didn't stutter. Garon looked as amused as he could, considering who he was, before returning his attention to the tv. Leon's face stayed red, not content with the lack of response. "I mean it. We're just going to watch Netflix."

"I never said you were." He commented idly, as if he wasn't talking about his younger son's sex life.

Leon didn't really know what to say to his father at that point, deciding instead to quietly join him in watching television until Soapy got there. It took the older teen around an hour to arrive at the Anya household, and Leon quickly stood from the couch when he heard the doorbell. He opened the door, immediately leaning down to kiss his boyfriend after confirming that it was Soapy, and not someone else. The kiss didn't last very long, due to the fact that Garon was still in the living room. Soapy smiled at him, holding one container of cookies, and two of ice cream. Leon went up to his room, Soapy following close behind. They were greeted by Rose meowing, and Leon realized he'd forgotten to leave his door open, resulting in the cat being trapped in his room for an hour. He let her out, feeling slightly guilty, and the two of them sat on his bed.

"Is it warmer in here?" Leon nodded.

"I don't know if this is true or if it's some sort of placebo, but I feel like my cramps aren't as bad when I put the heater on." He shrugged. "It's just a space heater though, not the whole house. Father likes it freezing, and I don't mind the cold." Soapy pouted.

"How come you never turn it on when I come over? You know I hate being cold." Leon smiled, hugging Soapy and leaving a small kiss on their head.

"Maybe it's an excuse to be closer to you." Soapy giggled.

"You're so sappy when we're alone." Leon blushed.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

Soapy laughed again, pulling away from Leon's hug to turn around and kiss him properly. They rested their hands on their boyfriends hips, bringing him closer. The kiss itself was soft and innocent, with no ulterior motives behind it. It would have lasted longer, had Leon not pulled away, hand shooting down to where his cramps were coming from. He groaned, lying down after the pain subsided, and Soapy frowned. They rubbed his back, not completely sure how to help, as they had little experience with periods. Sure, they lived with their mother, aunt, sister, and cousin (who all happened to be cisgender females), but none of them seemed to have as much trouble as Leon did. Leon had his back to them, and Soapy leaned down to kiss his cheek.

"Do you want me to get spoons for the ice cream?" Leon nodded, not saying anything. Soapy found the remote to the tv and got Netflix running. "Here." They put the remote on the bed, near his hand. "I'll be back in a bit."

Soapy left a kiss on Leon's shoulder before removing themself from his room. They had left the cookies and ice cream on Leon's bed, but had forgotten to bring spoons with them. A quick trip to the kitchen and they had forgotten where the silverware was. Not wanting to go back and ask, they started opening drawers, eventually coming across the correct one. They picked two spoons before checking the fridge for something to drink, ultimately deciding on plain water. Soapy returned to Leon's room, seeing that he was sitting up, watching a movie. They handed him one of the water glasses before sitting next to him.

"What movie did you choose?" Leon looked at them after drinking some of the water. He put the glass on his bedside table.

"The Princess Bride."

"I haven't seen that in a really long time." They commented, opening a container of ice cream and getting a small spoonful of it. "Open your mouth."

"I can feed myself just fine." Leon frowned. He decided there was no point in objecting when he saw Soapy's pout, and allowed himself to be fed by his boyfriend. "What flavour is this, cookies and cream?" He looked at the container, confirming this.

"Mhmm! I was in the mood." They took a bite of it. "I also got classic vanilla. That's my all-time favorite." Leon looked between the two flavors, not sure which he wanted more. He decided on the vanilla, taking the container and other spoon. Soapy moved to bring the cookies closer, keeping the plastic container in their lap as they settled down and rested their head on his shoulder.

"... You brought a lot of stuff." Leon stated as he nibbled at one of the cookies. He liked Soapy's cookies more than he liked to admit. It was a bit odd, considering the fact that he didn't really have a sweet tooth at all.

"Only because the best boyfriend in the whole world is feeling bad." They giggled, leaning up to give him a quick peck on the cheek. Leon blushed.

"That's subjective."

"Well, I think you're the best boyfriend, so that means you are."

"What if I think you're the best boyfriend?"

"That's also right. Both of us are the best boyfriends. Tied for first place!"

Leon smiled softly at them, kissing the top of their head before returning his attention to the movie. He hadn't bothered to pause it when the two of them weren't paying attention, though this was mostly because he'd seen it so many time he could quote every line. Even the ones that weren't particularly memorable. It was, after all his go-to movie to watch when he was feeling down. Considering the staggering amount of times he'd felt terrible, it was understandable that it was his most watched movie. Of course, he also watched it when he was in a good mood, so he supposed it was just his go-to movie in general. Especially when he was down, though. After realizing he'd eaten a substantial amount of ice cream, he closed the container, starting to feel gross for consuming so much junk. He wanted a salad, but he didn't want to get up or ask Soapy to fix him something, either. Soapy shifted slightly when Leon moved to set his half empty ice cream container on the bedside table. They looked at him curiously, but he shook his head, finishing his water.

"Oh, do you want me to refill that?" Soapy pointed at the empty glass.

"That'd be nice." He frowned. "Sorry you have to get so much stuff for me."

"No, no, I'm doing it because I want to! It's gotta be so hard being a guy but having to have periods…" Soapy had a sudden thought. "Actually, I can't really remember you having periods before…" Leon frowned more, if that was possible.

"I didn't, for a few months." Upon Soapy's questioning look, he decided to elaborate. "I didn't really start taking testosterone until the end of our freshman year. My periods were way worse back then. They were heavy, lasted a long time, and hurt a lot. After I started T, they slowly became more manageable, and they almost completely went away by the time five months had passed." He absently reached down to rub the general area his cramps were coming from.

"That sounds terrible…" They tentatively reached down to do the same, and Leon smiled a little at their attempts to help.

"It was just something I had to deal with for a while. Before I started T, I would take painkillers to help manage it and go through the school days without being bothered too much, so that's probably why you didn't notice." His smile dropped. "I sort of stopped taking hormones a month after starting school last year. By the time I tried to kill myself I had been off of it for a few months… I think the doctor recommended I didn't start again for a while, in fear that I would try overdosing again." Leon looked away, staring at some spot on the floor. Soapy's circular motions had stopped, their hand instead moving to hold Leon's rather tightly, obviously uncomfortable with the subject matter. "I think that made it harder to pick myself back up. It would have been easier if I could have gotten back on hormones sooner." Soapy gently turned Leon's head to kiss him.

"How long ago did you get back on them?" They asked, bringing the conversation away from their boyfriend's suicide attempt, which they felt horribly guilty about. Soapy may have not been the only reason Leon had tried to take his own life, but they were definitely one of them, and they didn't think they would ever get over that.

"It's only been a month or two. I probably wouldn't be on them yet if my therapist hadn't talked some sense into my doctor." He felt the need to justify his doctor. "He's not a bad person, he just doesn't have much experience with trans people. After they explained some stuff, he was really apologetic and said he'd try to be more considerate in the future." Soapy smiled, hugging Leon closely.

"I'm just so glad that you're still here." There was nothing more to say on that subject, and Soapy seemed to have forgotten they'd offered to get Leon more water.

"Hey, Soapy?" They looked up at him, sniffing slightly. They weren't going to cry, they just felt their eyes water the tiniest bit. It was probably nothing. "Water?"

"Oh! Gosh, I'm so sorry, I'm such a-" Leon shushed them. "Sorry." They often forgot that he hated it when they insulted themself in any way. It was a little flattering. "Do you want anything else?"

"It'd be nice if you could tell my father that I'm bleeding and want a salad." Soapy snorted before being reduced to a fit of laughter.

Soapy's giggled, made Leon unable to resist a short laugh, and he was left grinning when they left to refill the glasses of water, and ask if Garon could fix up a salad. Garon had been about to tell Soapy to just chop up some lettuce and tomatoes and throw them in a bowl before he remembered just who he was talking to. It was common knowledge at that point that Soapy could probably injure themself while making instant noodles, so Garon decided to get up and do it to himself before giving it to them. Soapy thanked them before taking the food up to Leon's room, as well as water. Leon seemed to be focussed on the movie, and Soapy could see his mouth moving.

"Good heavens. Are you still trying to win? You've got an overdeveloped sense of vengeance. It's going to get you into trouble someday." Soapy realized with mild amusement that Leon was quoting along with the movie, albeit silently.

"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." Soapy giggled, causing Leon to turn the volume down on the television and look at them, a slight blush on his face from embarrassment. Before he could say anything, Soapy sat on the bed beside him, kissing him on the cheek.

"You're cute." They gave him the salad and water, putting their own glass on the bedside table.

"Shut up…" He grumbled, eating the small meal. It gave him the peace of mind that at least he wasn't solely consuming junk.

"I like it! Having a cute boyfriend is the best." They put an arm around him, resting their head on his shoulder. "How many times have you seen this movie?"

"... I've lost count." Soapy giggled again, hugging him properly when he put aside the bowl that was then empty. "It's not cute."

"I think it's super cute, and you're getting lots of smooches now."

Leon didn't have the chance to object before Soapy did just that, kissing him full on the lips. They let their kisses trail all over his face before Leon muttered that he'd rather be kissed properly. Soapy obliged, returning to his lips before the two of them stopped, paying attention to the movie once more after they found a comfortable position. The rest of the day was spent with them doing much of the same, Leon occasionally mentioning something and Soapy briefly departing to get him what he needed. Though it wasn't as bad a period as it could have been, and Leon appreciated Soapy's help, he couldn't wait to stop having them again. Then the two of them could do just about the same thing without the struggles that came with monthly bleeding.

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 ** _Word Count: 3,608_**

 **I think I started writing this last month when I was dying bc of my period but when I finished writing I wasn't on my period anymore and it was just a Bad Time to post it so here it is haha**

 **(just to clarify, I think I identify as a demiboy. In my specific case, I feel like, male-ish but also agender-ish so idk, point is I'm not female)**

 **Like I said up above, this is a oneshot set in my Modern AU! Leon's suicide attempt was mentioned, and if you want more details on that, I recommend reading: Overdose (it happens), Mutual Agreements (some reasons behind it), and Suddenly, Puberty (some reasons behind it)**

 **And if you want to read them chronologically, it's: SP = MA = OD**

 **I have a poll on my profile that I would LOVE for you to check out as well! It's to see which fanfic/AU series YOU would like to see more of! This modern AU is in first place, so I can assure you that I'll keep writing for it (even if it somehow manages to fall into last place before I close the poll), but I would love it if more people could vote so I can see if my other fics are even interesting to you guys!**

 **All of the summaries for the fics/AUs are on my profile, and I think I've posted some of just about every poll choice, so please, take your pick!**

 **I hope to see you again sometime!**


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